


Don't Fix What's Not Broken [24/52]

by andrea_deer



Series: 52 aspec drabbles/ficlets of 2017 [24]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: (possibly), 52 aspec drabbles, Asexual Derek Hale, Derek Gets Therapy, Gen, M/M, Past Abuse, Therapy, but it is talked about so fair warning, getting better, implied sterek, no actual non-con happening in the fic, non-con, or detaily described, past trauma, trauma caused asexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-01
Updated: 2017-12-01
Packaged: 2019-02-09 08:25:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 714
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12883920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andrea_deer/pseuds/andrea_deer
Summary: "Do you remember this being a big part of your life before Kate?""I... It's hard to really remember, but I don't think so? It was there, but... Well, I'm spending a lot of time with teenagers now and I'm not sure if it's them or I remember things differently, but I'm quite sure I wasn't this obsessed with sex."24th of 52 aspec drabbles!





	Don't Fix What's Not Broken [24/52]

**Author's Note:**

> Fair warning, my experience with therapists is limited and not great, so since I was trying to portray a brilliant therapist it might be lacking.

"Are you disappointed with our progress, Derek?"

"No."

Doctor Cavallo looked at him with a small expectant smile, simply waiting for him to continue. They've been through this more times than Derek could count in the eight months they've been meeting for these sessions. 

"When I was first coming here I was sure you won't be able to help me at all, but also thinking that if somehow this was going to work... it will solve everything."

She smiled and nodded. "It ended up not being quite so black and white, did it?"

"Yeah," he agreed. "I guess it rarely is."

"Afraid so. Still, as you said yourself, plenty has changed with you since we've started. It's been quite a while and I would like you to think about your progress. You say it's not solving everything, what's something that you have thought it would solve but failed to do so?"

Derek looked away for a moment.

"I thought... After Kate, I've never really... I've never really wanted anyone like that. I've... I've had plenty of sex, but I've never really sought it out nor wanted anyone like... I didn't actively want them if the sex happened then so be it, but I didn't want it."

"And you think that's an effect of what Kate did to you?"

"Don't you?"

"I don't know, Derek. Perhaps. Do you remember this being a big part of your life before Kate?"

"I... It's hard to really remember, but I don't think so? It was there, but... Well, I'm spending a lot of time with teenagers now and I'm not sure if it's them or I remember things differently, but I'm quite sure I wasn't this obsessed with sex."

She chuckled quietly, indulging him as he smiled at her. Derek let the quiet last for a moment, knowing well enough this wasn't enough to change the subject.

"But I think... I think there was something before Kate."

"Mhm. Do you miss it?"

"Sorry?"

"Do you miss it? In your life. Do you regret not having this part of your life, having it different?"

"Does it matter?"

"Of course. It's highly possible that what Kate have done affected you and changed your perception of sex and sexual desire. Perhaps once you feel more certain of yourself and your life, it will shift again, perhaps it will not. I think you need to think about how important it is to you. Perhaps it's not as big of an issue as you think."

"I... I don't think I want to feel like that ever again. I don't really miss it. I've missed feelings and maybe sex, good one, with someone I can care about. But I don't miss the attraction. I don't... I don't think it's that important... I've barely noticed it was different until..."

"Until?"

He looked down, defeated. So much for keeping secrets from your shrink.

"Until I figured out I like someone."

"Did you? And the sexual desire is not there?"

"Not really? Not like that. If he'd want... I would. Not like, I'd force myself, I would want if he wanted it from me, but..." He shrugged. "I think about protecting him and holding him, I don't know, I want to kiss him, I think about that a lot, but not... Not sex, not really. It's like an afterthought."

"Well, that doesn't sound too horrible to me. More like a shift of priorities? Do you think you would like to work on that?"

"I... I don't know. I just thought... That it needed fixing."

She nodded thoughtfully.

"It's not hurting you in any way, your relationships are growing and you're becoming healthier and more open every day. I think it's worth discussing and making sure you're comfortable with the way you feel right now, but if you are, there's nothing to fix here I think. Do you think you are? Comfortable with this?"

He thought about this for a moment, surprised by the answer that appeared in his head quickly.

"Yeah," he said, still with a faint air of wonderment. "I think I am."

Doctor Cavallo beamed at him and he smiled back with far more ease that he could afford just a year ago. It seemed that perhaps he was going to be okay after all.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://archiveofourown.org/works/lordnochybaty.tumblr.com) or come to [my aspec sideblog](http://acesthetically-pleasing.tumblr.com/) for more aspec goodies :)
> 
> Also, this particular fic has a sequel of sorts. The next story in this collection, [Bonding Experience](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12895734) might be read as a follow up on this one. (Though it doesn't have to be.)


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